


No.14 I Didn't Mean It

by LiGi



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [14]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), FebuWhump2021, Gen, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Scared Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), could be Merthur, i didn't mean it, no14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29427657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiGi/pseuds/LiGi
Summary: Febuwhump 2021 day 14 - "I Didn't Mean It"Arthur goes to Merlin's room after training, but he was not expecting to find his manservant practicing magic...
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137632
Comments: 12
Kudos: 104





	No.14 I Didn't Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by the lovely Onehelluvapilot - You should go and read her febuwhumps as well because they are great - today's will make you sad, but it is an excellent Gwaine one!

The room was still echoing with the clang of the breastplate hitting the floor. Merlin was frozen, his eyes fixed on Arthur. Arthur’s eyes were on the breastplate and the cloth that had been polishing it just seconds before.

“What…?” Arthur managed in a strangled voice before his throat closed up. Panic and fear were coursing through his chest so fast he could barely breathe.

He’d only come to find Merlin to tell him he’d finished training early and that he wanted to have dinner in his chambers that evening rather than with his father in the great hall. He’d been expecting to find his manservant, well, lounging around, enjoying having the afternoon off while Arthur trained with the knights, to be honest.

He certainly had not been expecting to walk into the room to find Merlin sitting cross-legged on his bed, his hands cupped in front of him with a flame bursting from his palm. And Arthur’s breastplate, which Merlin should have been polishing, floating in the air beside his bed, a cloth moving over it all by itself.

“What…?” he tried again, gesturing wildly at the still rocking breastplate.

“I… it was…” Merlin’s eyes were darting around frantically, and his hand – not even red, let alone burnt as it should have been from the flames that had been licking across it seconds ago – grabbing the edge of his blanket and yanking it up to cover a heavy book that was spread out next to his knee.

“You’re a sorcerer?” Arthur demanded, the words bursting from him far louder than he had intended.

He took a step further into the room and Merlin scrabbled up from the bed, his foot getting caught in the sheet and almost sending him pitching forwards. Arthur jerked, his heart telling him to catch his hapless friend as he fell, but his mind telling him to get as far away from the sorcerer as possible. He stumbled backwards as Merlin righted himself, standing to his full height in front of Arthur. He was an inch taller and Arthur had never seemed to notice before. Now it seemed painfully obvious and Arthur straightened his back and thrust his chin as high as it could go. His hands balled into fists, his fingernails digging into his palm.

“I have magic…” Merlin admitted guiltily. Pointlessly, considering what Arthur had just seen. “Arthur, I’m… I’m sorry. I –”

But all Arthur could hear was a deep rushing in his ears, his heart pounding. Merlin was a sorcerer. Merlin was dangerous.

Merlin stepped forwards and Arthur couldn’t stop himself. His hand flew up instinctively to stop the threat that his head was screaming at him. He punched Merlin solidly in the face, pain splitting across his knuckles as they met Merlin’s sharp cheekbone. The servant staggered, the backs of his knees hit the bed and he collapsed onto it, clutching his face.

“You’re a liar. I trusted you!” Arthur yelled. “And all this time you – I should kill you –” His hand flew automatically to his belt, but he’d left his sword in the armoury after training.

Merlin’s hand shot up, palm out, fingers spread. The air around it seemed to crackle. Arthur’s eyes widened. He had no weapon. He was alone and defenceless, facing an angry sorcerer. Invisible sparks of power radiated from Merlin and it was Arthur’s turn to stagger back. Merlin dropped his hand immediately, tears springing to his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean…” He screwed his hands up and shoved them under his thighs, squashing them into the mattress beneath him.

Arthur tried to hide how he was shaking. Merlin had scared him more than he would ever admit. It was stupid. This was _Merlin_. He wasn’t afraid of Merlin. Was he?

_YES_ , a voice in the back of his mind repeated.

Could he run? Would Merlin chase him? But his knees trembled and his heart hammered against his ribs and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to run even if he wanted to. He gulped, not taking his eyes off his manservant’s face. Merlin’s cheeks were wet with tears, his nose running.

“Arthur…” he mumbled. He slid off the bed and fell to his knees at Arthur’s feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I would never use magic against you.”

Arthur looked down at him. The wide open honesty in his blue eyes. The guilt and sorrow. He chewed his lip.

“I trusted you,” he said again, this time barely a whisper.

“You still can, Arthur.”

“Can I?” He was shaking even worse than ever now, and Merlin could surely see it. “I make you angry and you… you –” He held his shaking hand up, palm out and fingers splayed.

“No! I’m sorry, I just panicked. I… I thought you wanted to kill me. But I wouldn’t have hurt you! I swear, Arthur, I wouldn’t ever hurt you.”

Arthur’s knees buckled and he fell to the floor with a painful thud. He dropped his face into his hands, furiously scrubbing at the tears in his eyes. He flinched back when Merlin reached towards him, his back hitting the wall behind him, and Merlin snatched his hand away quickly.

Arthur had always liked Merlin’s hands. They were gentle as they fastened his armour, comforting as they rested on his arm or his back. But now… Now they were weapons. Frightening weapons that neither sword nor shield could stop.

“I’m so sorry, Arthur,” Merlin whispered, keeping his hands balled at his sides but leaning a little closer. “I never meant to scare you.”

And that was the problem, wasn’t it? It wasn’t that Merlin was a sorcerer. It wasn’t that he had lied to him for years or broken his trust. It was the plain and simple fact that Merlin, one of Arthur’s closest friends, was the very thing Arthur was terrified of more than anything else in the world.

“I’m not scared of you,” he lied, his voice bitter and sharp. He turned his face away from Merlin, because he knew his manservant could read the truth in his eyes.

Merlin hung his head, tears dripping into his lap.

Arthur didn’t know how long they sat like that; him staring resolutely at the wall, his mind whirring and his jaw clenched so hard his teeth ached, with Merlin silently weeping at his side. But when he finally managed to quell the fear from his mind and looked over at his friend, he could barely see him in the growing gloom of nightfall.

“Light a candle,” he whispered into the emptiness of the room.

Merlin moved to stand up, but Arthur’s hand shot out and snatched his wrist. Merlin fell back to the floor, his eyes wide.

“Not like that.”

“Do you… what do you…?”

“Magic it.” Arthur’s voice was so quiet and raspy that if they hadn’t been sitting in the silent, dark room Merlin wouldn’t have heard him.

“Are you sure?” Merlin gasped, his voice little more than a breath.

Arthur nodded.

Merlin took a deep breath and whispered, “ _Bæl on bryne_.”

His eyes lit up, golden in the dark room and Arthur was drawn to the magnificence of them, even as he instinctively flinched backwards. He held his back straight, trying not to let any more fear into his mind as he looked over at the fat dribbly candles on Merlin’s desk. They lit themselves with a soft ‘ _pfft_ ’ sound, the flames flickering merrily, lighting up Merlin’s face, which still shone with tears and the dark bruise blooming across his cheekbone.

Arthur let out a trembling breath, his shoulders sagging and his grip on Merlin’s arm loosening slightly, his fingers brushing down his wrist and across the back of his hand.

“That wasn’t so scary,” he said with a watery chuckle.

Merlin turned his hand over underneath Arthur’s. His palm pressing against Arthur’s skin was warm and ever so gentle, and Arthur found himself staring down at their hands, almost clasped together, fingers loosely curling around each other’s. This was still _Merlin_. Just because he had magic didn’t make him something to fear. Arthur wove their fingers together.

**Author's Note:**

> I love any and all comments!


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